Ever Decreasing Circles

Why is it that the longer I live the less friends I have?

I am sure that some would say, "to know me is to know the answer", but seriously, why is it that the more people I meet the less friends I have? Take Christmas letters as an example. Every year we add new people to the list of those we write to at Christmas, and yet every year we send less and less Christmas Cards. Is there a worm or virus that eats friends from my address list, or is there another answer?

Sadly, the answer is that as we get older our lives move in ever decreasing circles. Yes, we do add new names to our Christmas list, but we also take of those we have lost touch with, those we haven't heard from in years, and those who left the sphere of earthly communication, and there comes a time when we stop adding new names to the list. Its almost as if we reach a saturation point for friends - we can have so many, but no more. So our world shrinks - just a little at first, but then year by year in ever decreasing circles.

The problem with this isn't the Christmas list, as nice as it is to keep in touch with friends near and far. The problem is what it means for our effectiveness in witness. As Michael Green, in his commentary on Acts, 30 Years that Changed the World, wrote “We need Christians who are fearless in making Jesus known, and extremely broad in their range of contacts” (2002:55).

I asked a group of lay-leaders recently how many non-church friends they had, and we discovered that the more committed you were in leadership, the less likely you were to have friends outside the church, and in particular, the less likely you were to make new friends outside the church. I am sure they are not alone in this. So, not only is it likely that our circle of friends will diminish over time, but it is increasingly likely to be filled with other Christians.

Who, then, will share their faith with those outside our ever decreasing circles?

The only way we can reverse this trend is by being intentional about making friends. That means going to new places, doing new things and spending time with new people. It really isn't as scarey at it sounds.